MOTHER FUCKIN' APOCALYPSE
 
(Ping, in the key of A.)
 
tap...tap...tap...tap..tap...tap...tap....tap...tap...tap...tap...tap
 
(hand held recorder, slowly swinging in the air) ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, (gliding in an arc left to right.) tap, tap, tap, tap, Tap.   (Swing slowy right to left, higher) ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, blizz, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.  Tap ta Tap ta Tap ta Tap, Tap.  (Swing high in an arc, left to right and fall low to the ground) ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.  Tap ta Tap, Tap, TAP, TAP.  (right to left, sqwiggly line) ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, aah aaah ah aah, ah, ah, ah, ah, blizzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
 
[Place hand held recorder in front of camera on the floor.  With enough room to see the feet in the background. Let it play.]
 
LIGHTS FADE UP FOR 10.  GRAND THEFT AUTO HAPPENS.
 
First ah's.
 
Second ah's.
 
[Go to the boom box linked to the microphone plugged to the portable kareoke maching getting power from the square grey power strip routing juice from the orange extension cord that runs under the audience.]
 
(Play Carpenter's Piece by Sonic Youth, buy George Maciunas, and goodbye 20th Century.)
 
Third ah's...cross up to center.
 
Fourth melodic and longest ah's.
 
Nothing
 
(The tape the cd the tv and the player are playing.)
 
God, that needs to be bigger.
 
Nothing  (Tap)
 
with three keys
plastic before me
waiting for me
to write high tek hall mark rhymes
sitting in any position you want
with
 
Nothing (Tap)
 
but my smellum
worth more
than my bloood
on the corner
of
 
Nothing (Tap)
 
to swear at or throw at
the painful bump in my armpit
 
Nothi  (T
 
Cancer!
 
Nothing (Tap)
 
is a bad thing that way
 
Nothing (Tap)
 
but the plastic three keys
 
Nothing (Tap)
 
Horrible empty unhungry still
 
I fucked your sister
you gave me ten dollars
while those squatters made me
drink wine lightning fast
with
 
Nothing (Tap)
 
When I sit and listen to the beat
(Pause.)
My heart labors against my past
 
Nothing (Tap)
 
but regret woven into a legend
that guy was so fuckin
crazy rude angry fucked up a dick head
I am skinny and lie
about
 
Nothing (Tap)
 
I've done to so many
has made the made the world a better place
with
 
Nothing (Tap)
 
They won't buy the blood THIS TIME
There was no juice THIS TIME
So put on yo' hip hop jump suit and vote
 
Nothing (Tap)
 
ova rand over and over ragain.
 
(Sung) Like a pop song with the lyrics left unheard
 
(Pause)
 
This is my job.  (Take a snap shot.)
 
You are not what you eat what you eat is only part of why we die from
 
Nothing (Tap)
 
will come over and hug
 
Nothing (Tap)
 
his name feminine
enough to stop a war for
poor Brian, your fiance' was so ugly and fucking around on you
when you died in Iraq
 
pause
 
over
 
Nothing  (Tap)
 
I tried gave her
 
Nothing (Tap)
 
to show for
 
missing phone calls with forgottens
awakens morning like a drunk
 
throbbing and coughing to recognize
 
Nothing (Tap)
 
Sometimes a note, but mostly no, though
here goes one ya don't know
you're lazy and lonely with good health and lost mail
from
 
Nothing (Tap)
 
A black mail, no a black person
 
a
 
a
 
Nothing (Tap)

you can't blame the snake for biting
you can't keep those boys from fighting
and you can't blame a guy for trying
so don't be so fucking conviving
when children are out there dying
since its only to yourself your lying
or that ugly ass bitch your two-timing
they all blame you for surviving
her breathless body not reviving
not loud enough so try mich-ing
not proud enough for my liking
nothing that hard's worth trying
you answered by simply sighing
you didn't fail, you're just retrying
using the same word for rhyming
is never clever enough when rhyming
this isn't a rant its whining
cuz you can't afford fine dining
so go drink and do some blind siding
and end this debt ridden life your living


It was a truck fulllllla' nigger eggs, and two of um hatched.  (Strike a pose.)
Oh, C'mon folks.  I got a coloureD television.  (Gesture to the television on a bucket connected to a ps2 that runs the controls of GTA to the silent mitts of a black man.)
So why do black people hate aspirin?...because it works, its white, and you gotta pick through cotton to get at it.
 
(Dialogue with silent mitts of a black man, while putting in a dolorean and planting the drums.)
 
What?  Don't take it like that.  What do you mean?  What do I mean by sharing jokes?  I guess, I mean, why don't you sit and listen to me tell some stories while you get offended, so no; no, no actual jokes were shared.  Jesus.  (Point to audience) You thought it was funny.
(Let the drums grow.  Cross to the future and play in the empty space to synchopate.)
 
tap tap tap tap.  tap tap tap tap.  tap. tap tap. tap.  tap tap tap tap.
 
(yelled) GOD THAT NEEDS TO BE BIGGER 
 
Nothing  (Tap)
with three keys
plastic before me
waiting for me
to write high tek hall mark rhymes
sitting in any position you want
with
Nothing (Tap)
but my smellum
worth more
than my bloood
on the corner
of
Nothing (Tap)
to swear at or throw at
the painful bump in my armpit
Nothi  (T
Cancer!
Nothing (Tap)
is a bad thing that way
Nothing (Tap)
but the plastic three keys
 
Horrible empty unhungry still
I fucked your sister
you gave me ten dollars
while those squatters made me
drink wine lightning fast
with
Nothing (Tap)
When I sit and listen to the beat
 
(Pause.)
 
My heart labors against my past
Nothing (Tap)
but regret woven into a legend
that guy was so fuckin
crazy rude angry fucked up a dick head
I am skinny and lie
about
Nothing (Tap)
I've done to so many
has made the made the world a better place
with
Nothing (Tap)
They won't pay for the blood THIS TIME (STOMP, STOMP)
There was no juice THIS TIME  (STOMP, STOMP)
So put on yo' hip hop jump suit and vote
Nothing (Tap)
ova rand over and over ragain.
(Sung) Like a pop song with the lyrics left unheard
This is my job.  (Wave the snap shot.)
You are not what you eat what you eat is only part of why we die from
Nothing (Tap)
will come over and hug
Nothing (Tap)
his name feminine
enough to stop a war for
poor Brian, your fiance' was so ugly and fucking around on you
when you died in Iraq
 
pause
 
over
Nothing  (Tap)
I tried gave her
Nothing (Tap)
to show for
missing phone calls with forgottens
awakens morning like a drunk
throbbing and coughing to recognize
Nothing (Tap)
Sometimes a note, but mostly no, though
here goes one ya Mother Fuckin' don't know
you're lazy and lonely with good health and lost mail
from
Nothing (Tap)
a black male, no a black person
a
Nothing (Tap)
In this country
of
Nothing (Tap)
happened here
as a country
we believe mommy loves us
when we hate
Nothing (tap)
which allows me
to define me
an abled bodied youth
without disease
I can say with a smile
 
(ad oblivion)